We live largely in the dark. Even at high noon most of the universe is dark. Even when convinced of this or that truth, Truth itself eludes us. We don’t know more than we can know; we don’t see more than we can see; we don’t control far more than we can control. Indeed, 23% of the universe is dark matter, and 73% of the total mass-energy of the universe is dark energy. Literally, then, as well as metaphorically, we live in the dark.
Because we live in the dark, we light fires: bon fires, camp fires, and cooking fires, etc. Because we live in the dark, we light candles: prayer candles, memorial candles, birthday candles, etc. Fire is how we push back the dark a bit, and that is why we light it.
Every Friday evening my wife and I light Shabbat candles. We light these candles to push back the encroaching order of the week to make room for the chaos of Shabbat. Most people imagine that chaos is their enemy, I suggest the enemy is too much order, too many rules, too rigid forms. All week long we are forced to order our lives according to the fixed rules of school, job, and society at large. By the time the Sabbath arrives we are so conformed to the structures around us, that we have lost sight of the creative chaos within us. Order threatens creativity, chaos enlivens it. So we kindle the Sabbath lights to make room for chaos and creativity, and spend a day in prayer and play.
When I light a candle in memory of the dead, I push back the darkness of forgetfulness. As I light the candle I remember the life I am honoring, not the death with which it concluded. To light a candle for the dead is to recall them to life, to push back the shadow of grief and loss, and shed light on the life of the one that you love.
Next month I will celebrate my sixtieth birthday. Birthday candles mark the passing of years and the approach of death, and yet the more candles we have the more light we bring to the world. Birthday candles suggest that we burn more brightly as we burn up. A wonderful message!I plan to light 61 candles, and spend a moment marveling at the light. I won’t blow them out, but rather let them burn themselves out. This is how I hope to die: burned out not blown out. I want to burn out, to burn up, to leave nothing behind. I don’t want to be blown out while there is still wax and wick to be consumed by the flame.
So we light candles to push back the dark, to celebrate creativity, chaos, and change, to remember our mortality, and to share as much light as we can before we are utterly consumed by the greater darkness in which we live.
